" You'll get your hopes and you'll get your dreams.
Well, that choice wasn't there for me.
This path on which I walk. It ain't a game and it ain't all talk.
This is all I ever had.
This is all they ever let me have."
Today sucked. Simply put.
We went to the consignment shop down the street and I had to leave to blubber in my car. After having 3 tear fests in the store already. I'm really beginning to believe the fact that PTSD is very real with losses like this. I used to go there like, every other day looking for things for Finley. They always have awesome prices on kids clothes, and every now and again you can find some awesome deals. I remember I found an Eddie Bauer car seat cover, brand new, never opened, for $8.
When we got home we had an Amazon box on our door step. It was from Sweet Grace Ministries. There was a walk for infant and pregnancy loss in Ship on Sunday that I couldn't make, and a couple we are friends with went and walked for our son. I guess Sweet Grace heard about our loss from her, and today we received lotion, an amazingly scented lavender candle, an angel figurine, and a book to cope with loss. All for which we are grateful.
At this point I've got about 3 books to read. The only problem is every time I go to read one, I can't even get passed the chapter titles without breaking down.
It especially sucks because today was not a good day for hubby at all. He tried to go to work, but with how many people are in his office, word couldn't possibly get out to everyone, so he got a few people asking those questions we all hate. Couldn't do it. I don't blame him.
I just wish I could be as strong for him as he is for me. He is my rock, even on his worst days. I just wish I could be the same.
No comments:
Post a Comment